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You’re also probably wondering about all the reasons why your relationship was broken up – even if you’re happy in your relationship now. Any time someone from your past is brought into your present – in a fleeting mention, in a conversation, in a dream, or in a real life situation where your sister wants to date that someone, you will have these thoughts and wonders.
In fact, you may have some new anxiety about what's going on in your current relationship, and if anyone like your sister, is interested in your current partner -- and you don't know about it. So allow yourself to ask all those questions of yourself without feeling abnormal worry or guilt.
Seduced By Good Manners: The next thing you have to understand is that you allowed yourself to be seduced by your sister’s civility.
Her good manners and her doing the right thing by asking your permission, in a sense, to date your ex, was very gracious. She could have just gone out and dated him without telling you, letting you find out from someone else, or telling you down the road sometime. And because she was so civil, you felt that you had to be just as civil, back to her – but you mistook civility with actions.
Many people do this – mostly women with self-esteem that needs a little amp-ing up.